Re-Weave the Fabric of Reality
So the title, I guess, of this module is The Seven Constituent Threads of the Textile of the Ego. And I wrote it in both senses, because the ego is a text with a particular style; that’s all the ego is, is a narrative text that goes on forever in your head that you can’t get to shut up. That’s why it’s so important to meditate, because if you don’t get through the fabric of the ego, you will never know what’s real because it is the screen, it is the veil of maya—that narrative, that’s what it is. We are in a prison of language and that language is all for the purpose of SJ which is self-justification. OK? So all of these other six come out of and serve self-justification.
Now, the first one, D&C, this has to do with Demand and Complaint. OK? The ego is basically a machine that makes demands. OK? And it calls these demands “love”. OK? And that’s what it uses to justify the demands. And so the basic attitude of the lover is, “Hey, I love you, therefore you owe me your life, you know, let me use your body whatever way I want. Let me live with you, you have to marry me, give me all your money, do all of this—because I have loved you.”
You see? And so that demand is justified by that word, but what is that word? Is that real love if you make that demand? That’s either a business arrangement or it’s total blackmail, and forcible, almost, emotional rape—this is the way that love is now a “four letter word”, and if you don’t get it you’re going to complain. And so the ego loves to complain, because it’s never going to get unconditional love from the other; they’re in the same D&C that you’re in and so they say, “What do you mean? What are you talking about? Give me my space! Let me alone!” And, “I want you on my terms, when I want you, and when I don’t, you know, you just wait for my phone call.”
You know? So the situation is never going to result in the happily ever after that everybody’s looking for, which is actually the possession of the object of desire. And the other reason is that if you do happen to get that object, you’ll no longer desire it. And then you’ll start looking at others and wishing you possessed that one over there, or that one over there. So the ego is never satisfied, it never actually wants to get what it desires because it knows that’s not it, it doesn’t really desire it, it just wants to keep itself busy, frankly, and to justify having some motivation and a sense of power that it can seduce and control, etc. This has nothing to do with love, OK? So at least we have to come to terms with that, OK, and not just justify it and turn it into hearts and flowers, when really, it’s more pornography and, at best, romantic fantasy. So if we don’t get out of the D&C mode, then it’s going to corrupt all of our relationships, and we’ll never be able to know what real love is.
So by the way, Real Love is on the on the other side of those two lines, RL, and real love is love of the Real. OK? It’s nothing else. If you love the unreal, how can that be real love? And since the ego is unreal, how can the ego offer real love? Not possible.
- So the second one, CGE(I), and the I is hidden a bit, the C isCuriosity. The ego is nosy, it’s curious, it wants to know everything it can about everybody else, and then it will use that for some kind of power. OK? The more curious it is, the more it sniffs into different corners, the more it discovers things that it might use, for whatever purposes. But this is how it accumulates a sense of an ability to have something on the other, right?
And the G comes after that, which is Gossip—that’s how you spend what you have learned through your curiosity: “Did you hear that…” Blah blah blah. So this gossip economy of the ego corrupts communities, it destroys them. And the next thing, of course, is Exhibitionism, to exhibit not only what you know, but what you’ve got in terms of the physical, in terms of mental, in terms of whatever, in order to be able to have prestige, and something that other people can gossip about in a positive way. You see, so everybody wants to have that status, and to get strokes for what they can exhibit.
The I is the Inhibition, which is what stops many people from being exhibitionists, but even the inhibition is exhibited, and one is almost proud: “I’m not one of the exhibitionists. I’m inhibited.” But there’s a superiority aspect to it, and so it is a hiddenness that has to be made public, you see. So this kind of way of inauthentic relating is what corrupts and brings the ego down into ever lower levels.
The third one is similar but it’s more direct. FIL, Fill the Incessant Lack, OK? And this has to do with the addictive processes. Stay full, OK? It can be very concrete in the form of food, and people would rather eat food that is filling than food that is nourishing. Right? more pizzas are sold than fresh fruit—the pizza is not really a very nourishing meal and yet it’s extremely popular out there, you know? So most of the comfort foods are there to fill a lack. In fact, to over-fill you, so you can’t even desire any more, and then you’re sick and you promise you’re just going to eat fruit, but, no, you’ll have the leftover slice of pizza, whatever; the thing doesn’t really end. I can see people relate to this! So filling your lack—but it can obviously be with alcohol, with drugs, with tobacco, whatever, and with people, and with pornography, and with whatever—but filling that lack is a full time job for the ego, because the lack is unbearable. And the lack is there because the ego is unreal. You can never fill it; it’s a false self, so how is it ever going to feel fulfillment? Never. It’s impossible.
So the next one, SL2, this has to do with Self-Loathing and Self-Loving. Again, it’s not loving in the real sense, but it has to do with narcissism, and you have the positive narcissists who are golden, and you have the ones who are excremental and abject, who are in a state of constant self-loathing, but proud of it, you see, and inflict that one others. And so there’s usually a back and forth—you have either a self-loathing privately and a self-loving publicly, or vice versa, or there’s an alternation, but both of these swings of the pendulum are inherent to every ego.
So as long as these kinds of processes are going on, the ego cannot, the mind cannot be still enough for the discovery of who is dreaming this nightmare of a being into illusory existence.
And then the final one is when the ego flips its lid—and the LID will be Lies, Intimidation, Denunciation, Damage, Destruction—it could be a bunch of d’s at the end of it—but it is when the ego really turns morally perverse. Not every ego is going to do that, but some are going to do that and get their final last licks of enjoyment out of burning all their bridges and leaving wreckage in their wake wherever they go, and I’m sure everyone has encountered such, if not played the part.
So this is the kind of trap that the false self is in, and nobody wants to be in that trap, I don’t think, deliberately, and yet the ego is constructed in such a way that this becomes behavior that is out of control, because the superego that is the controlling agency is in favor of it, is behind it, and so the process cannot be modified from within. And this is why people do go to therapists, to get some help from an intelligence that’s outside of this mechanism, to try to put in some new information, some new energy, different insights, that will help to break open the very strongly held belief system that keeps the ego going.
And it’s only when the ego has been hollowed out and one can no longer retain in good faith either the ego or superego positions, that the serious inner work can begin, because the ego has to be destabilized—like the twelve steps groups say, “You’ve got to hit bottom before you’re going to begin to do any real work to get rid of those addictive processes.” So the destabilization that can lead to breakdown can also lead to breakthrough, but it’s always a tricky situation, and that’s why when the ego reaches that point where its stability is being threatened, it needs to surrender to a process that will bring about a break through, will bring about growth, and development, and learning from this, turning the pain into wisdom, not into self-defeat and suicidal thoughts of despair and hopelessness. So the only way to do that is to recognize that there is a beyond to the event-horizon of the ego, and you can reach it but you can only reach it by letting go of everything that the ego treasures, everything it believes about itself. OK?
The bottom one is the dollar sign ($), because the dollar sign is the master signifier of the age. And I use “dollar” not simply in the sense of the US dollar, although that’s the “reserve currency” of the global financial system, currently, but originally that was a caduceus—originally that “S” was the kundalini snake, that’s what justified it. And the dollar comes from dala, man-dala, which is a mind circle, it came from the coin, originally gold coins, and then silver dollars, and then of course they became fiat currency that’s worthless. But the point is that that became the higher consciousness, the “In God We Trust” when that still had some real, authentic meaning, which was a long time ago now—was the justification for the issuers of currency, that there was a basis of trust, you could rely on the banks, they were going to hold your gold for you, and because they were based in the ancient wisdom schools originally, and they were entrusted with the ability to hold onto that which was truly precious.
The word “money” comes from mani, Manipura Chakra, you know that one? One of my great teachers, her name was Prakash Mani, it means “jewel”, that was the jewel of light—and she was a jewel of light—but money comes from this idea that there are those objects that are precious because they are metaphors for the internal jewel, the diamond mind, the golden light, they are not in themselves worth anything. And because the dollar and all of the currencies of the world pretty much are no longer based on any credible source of value, we’re having a collapse of the system, and confidence in it is being lost, and as soon as it reaches a certain point there will be hyperinflation, and when that happens it means that the dollars, no matter how many you’ve got, will be worthless, you won’t be able to buy bread with them. OK, that time is coming soon, OK?
So the people who complacently think, “I’ve got a lot of dollars in the bank”, or cryptocurrency—what happens when the grid goes down? How do you get your crypto? It’s gone! It’s in the crypt, buried alive. I don’t care how many you’ve got of them, you won’t be able to spend them. And gold—you can’t eat it and you can’t drink it, and it’s not going to be very valuable, and how much have you got to carry around anyway? You know, and the governments that do have it, Russia and China, which have been building that up, well, you think the West is going to allow them to be the rulers and they’ll be vassals? No—there’s going to be war. There’s going to be a destruction. This is happening, it’s on the way, everything is building up toward it.
Audio File: Re-Weave the Fabric of Reality – Audio File.MP3