You Shall Find Only What You Want
Summary: The human ego, in its postmodern end-of-kali-yuga form, is obsessed with its bodily form and its self-definition. It desperately needs to create a defined personality with fixed views and prejudice against other paradigms of reality, since otherwise it cannot hold on to the feeling that it exists. The ego’s lack of existence thus is repressed and over that black hole is projected the image of a self-fashioned fictional entity that believes it is real. The entity likewise constructs an unreal world on which it projects its many dissociated fragments with their desires, plus its shadow drives, foreclosed wisdom, and objects of both desire and fear. To awaken from this self-created hell realm, the consciousness must release its clinging to conceptualizations, including that of the imagined ego.
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Every observation contains an implicit desire to find a thing that matches its subjectivity, and justifies and proves its existence through the existence of what it finds; and thus the word thing itself contains the realization that it is only a think. It is nothing more than what you think. There is no thing other than the thinking, but every thought reifies.
The opposite of the infinite is the definite, and the ego wants to define and make definite and certain what is Real. And through that very reification loses the true nature of reality, which is indefinable, which is infinite potentiality.
And so the sanskara, the essential sanskara, that is the obstacle in spiritual life is the tendency to reify. And so the spiritual journey, which begins in the flatland of the ego, can only deal with maps of reality. And so maps are offered, kundalini maps, and maps of the structure of how consciousness functions, and its algorithms, and all of the ways in which it creates its own existence through its thought patterns, and then its lifeways, its umwelt, that becomes a definable entity. The ego is territorial, terra, meaning “earth”, so it is earthbound. In Sat Yoga, we’ve created the concept of lokatory and lokatoriality, because terra is only one loka. It is a loka that exists in the imagination, that has become reified, and therefore earthbound, materialized.
But once we lose all the desire for lokatoriality to exist in any definable loka, or location, then we recognize that we are not only in the infinite, but we are the infinite. But infinity is exactly what terrifies, terra-fies the ego, because it will lose its terra, its earth-anchoring, it will lose its illusion of existence, because all its existence is is a belief, a definable thought that turns its thinking into a thing that thinks, and thus it loses the true nature of intelligence, which is inconceivable in its essential Being. And we do not want to lose the Infinite—we are striving for freedom from the finite, but the very striving for the freedom, that can only happen when there is no striving, is a product of the very finitizing desire of the mind to hold on to something definite.
But it can only hold on to fictions, because nothing definite is real. It exists only as long as the thought sustains the collapse of the wave function, and not a moment longer. But the consciousness itself, that is the entire ocean, has no interest in the particularity of the waves being collapsed into dry land. It has only an interest in the flow of its infinite eternal bliss. Because bliss is a flow state, and the ego cannot know that because it stops the flow with every thought.
And in the very stoppage of that flow, it creates a glitch in the matrix, and that creates paranoia, and then the paranoia creates further thoughts that produce the fear of the nightmare of unknown dangers that then produce them as the known—because the world of the oceanic waves of consciousness will always acquiesce to the desires of the mind to find its object. But it will never like what it finds. It will always end up running away from what it desires, because that isn’t it. It can never be it, because there is no it.
And so it is this iteration of thoughts that produces language as a reifying agency. And even mathematics does the same—there are no numbers—but as soon as you have the idea of numbers the world will be filled with things you can count.
But the mathematicians who have studied it deeply know that every number is only the name of a null set. It contains nothing. It is emptiness. Just a series of names, an endless series of names, that name nothing. But it’s that nothing that is the Real. And yet it cannot be perceived directly until it is named, and then by naming it, it is lost, and then we live in a world of maps, concepts, a flatland, and no longer in the fullness of the Infinite.
And so our mind that we treasure so much for its ability to think, is what has created the prison that is only made of our own thoughts. And so to get out of that prison, we must get out of our minds, but not out of a sane mind to go into an insane mind that is filled with irrational imagination based on its own delusional projections—the normal mind is the same—it’s not really different. It’s a psychotic mind, but because it’s a shared psychosis, everyone validates everyone else’s madness.
But the freedom to know what is Real, to be attuned to the presence of the power of God that is the ultimate creative energy and essence underlying all of this reified cosmos that we think we inhabit, that presence is freedom itself.
Audio File You Shall Find Only What You Want.mp3