Narayani’s Poem – Abyss and Pleroma Retreat

Updated: Apr 7, 2018

When I ponder                                              When I wonder When I consider or contemplate Who am I? Outside of my body, mind, emotions and all their paraphernalia What do I come up with? Stuff I’ve done’ Didn’t do Should have done Or did without caring to.

But, pondering deeper Who am I? Beyond this history or litany — Who did them? Or didn’t do them outside space and time and activities done or left undone?

A seeker. One who wandered and wondered From whence she emerged and why. Seeking to know her place, her source, her raison d’être.

Who am I?  And why am I? If not a doing body, a thinking mind, an emotional torrent?

I look deeper, I delve. Beyond veils emeshed in the above Beyond motives made of thoughts Beyond principles imprinted by others Beyond reactions as well as actions.

I peel and peer digging, delving I can’t see anything. It’s all attached to something above.

Peeling, peering, digging, delving When will I find the answer? I seem to come up to a wall of darkness, a blank space a nothingness a void.

I close my eyes tired of seeking what seeks to remain hidden.

I give up Surrender Will I ever know? Surrendering to the emptiness of my search I seek the solace of this darkness This lack of answers This silent space of no answers No desires No thoughts No caring No nothing.

I sink into the silence Knowing nothing Perceiving nothing Doing nothing.

Yet here I am. Just being Me I am a breathing alive being Unknown. Yet conscious of being Me And loving it

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